2022 - March - CDT - Active Life

By: Jackie Naginey Hook
Sunday, March 13, 2022

Moving Your Grief Through Writing

I set my timer for 10 minutes and they all began to write on unlined white paper. At this grief education and support gathering, the participants were either answering the question I posed, “If your grief is like the seasons, which season are you in right now?” or writing about how their grief was stirring in them at that moment. I encouraged them to write what they heard in their heads -- simply receiving, not judging – and to not censor or worry about spelling, grammar and punctuation.  I also encouraged them to ask this question as often as they wanted, “What do I mean by ________?” and then continue writing.

I barely finished the instructions and many of the group had already begun writing. Some quickly filled the front of their paper and started writing on the back. Others wrote and pondered, wrote and pondered. As we neared the end of the 10 minutes, I saw some slow down and sit in contemplation.

My timer rang and I asked them to finish their thoughts and put down their pens. Not everyone was ready to stop, but I told them they could return to it later if they chose and even ask themselves these questions, “What thoughts were heard but not written?” “What or how did they feel after the exercise?” “What larger story may this be part of?” and, “What ideas came for future writings?’” While reminding them participation was by invitation and not demand, I asked if anything wanted to be said.

Several shared insights they gained. One shared how the writing went in a completely different direction than the prompt suggested. I was grateful to acknowledge that the writer was doing exactly as I had said, simply receiving and not judging. Another shared that there were surprises at the memories aroused. The room felt a little lighter. I encouraged everyone to do this kind of writing on their own and we moved onto our next activity.

I’m always in awe of what happens between our heads and our hands during an activity like this. New thoughts appear on paper and we sometimes feel a release. Grief is an emotion, energy that needs to move. This group was ready to move some of their grief from the inside to the outside and this writing activity gave them an opening.

Writing is a great way to move grief. When we lose a loved one, we sometimes feel like we’ve lost our voices as well. Writing can help us get our voices back by telling our stories.

Learning to Live: What’s Your Story? is a local coalition whose mission is to create educational and conversational opportunities for meaningful intergenerational exchanges on loss, grief, growth and transformation. We provide various opportunities for people to tell their stories. One option is a monthly column here in the Centre Daily Times.

Each of us has our own unique stories inside and uncovering them can feel empowering while helping us heal. The Learning to Live: What’s Your Story? group is offering a workshop to help interested participants do some of that uncovering. Facilitated by Beth McLaughlin, a writer and narrative coach, and me, this workshop will be held on Monday, April 4 from 6:00 to 8:00 p.m. at The Village at Penn State Community Center, 108 Tradition Drive. You are invited to join us to explore some of your thoughts and feelings about grief and loss. Please RSVP by emailing Jackie@JackieHook.com, calling 814-237-2712 or by visiting the Koch Funeral Home Facebook page @kochFH. Space is limited.

You are also invited to the following gatherings:

For more information, please visit the Bereavement Gatherings and Events page on the Koch Funeral Home website. To reserve your spot and receive the invitation links, email Jackie@JackieHook.com, call 814-237-2712 or visit the Koch Funeral Home Facebook page @kochFH. If there are changes to our in-person gatherings because of COVID, we will provide updates on the website.

Jackie Naginey Hook, MA, is a spiritual director, celebrant and end-of-life doula.  She coordinates the Helping Grieving Hearts Heal program through Koch Funeral Home in State College.  For more information, please call 814-237-2712 or visit www.kochfuneralhome.com.

Leave a comment
Name*:
Email:
Comment*:
Please enter the numbers and letters you see in the image. Note that the case of the letters entered matters.

Comments

Please wait

Previous Posts

2024 - March - Gazette - Dad, Death, Daffodils, Ducks, Cardinals, and Comfort

Dad, Death, Daffodils, Ducks, Cardinals, and Comfort ... My 93-year-old dad died on Tuesday, March 12, 2024. When I left you in my February column, he was working hard to get his strength back aft...

2024 - March - CDT - Helping Hands - A Walk with Grief

A Walk with Grief I’ve become keenly aware of the dual process model of grief lately. This model involves oscillation between loss-oriented and restoration-oriented responses to grief. Sometimes a...

2024 - February - Gazette - How Old Would You Be?

How Old Would You Be? How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you were? When I ask this question, I get a variety of reactions. Some people laugh and say, “I’d be the age I am.” Others loo...

2024 - January - CDT - Learning to Live: What's Your Story? - Grief as a Funeral Director

Grief as a Funeral Director Ten years ago, on February 1, 2014, my wife Margie died. We were married for 50 years and eight months, and I still think of her every day. I always have a picture of h...

2024 - January - Gazette - Love Your Heart

Love Your Heart Children can be great role models for adults, in all kinds of ways. For example, when it comes to the grief journey, I have a special place in my heart for the funeral and memorial...

2023 - December - Gazette - Let's Remember

Let’s Remember Just a few days ago our family received a large tin of popcorn as a holiday gift. One-half of the tin was filled with caramel corn, one-quarter with buttered popcorn, and one-quarte...

2023 - December - CDT - Learning to Live: What's Your Story?

Expectant Waiting It was Christmas Eve 1993 and my husband, John, and I were spending the holidays at my parent’s house in Austin, Texas. I was doing my daily meditation when these words came into...

2023 - November - Gazette - Dare! Silence

A lot goes on in the silence.” These are words I often share because silence is a big part of my work. For example, I ask for moments of silence when officiating at memorial and funeral services. D...

2023 - Nov - CDT - Helping Hands - Healing Through the Holidays

Healing through the Holidays Author, poet, and civil rights activist, Maya Angelou, wrote, “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” I witness this every day in my work ...

2023 - October - Gazette - Memories Become Treasures

Memories Become Treasures I was visiting with my mom and dad a couple of weeks ago and we started talking about my dad’s parents, who I lovingly called Grandma and Grandad. My mom shared two memor...