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JC Ross posted a condolence
Wednesday, February 10, 2021
Joe was my Hegel professor in the mid-1980s at Penn State. I was no star, and he must have known how out of my depth I was, but he never let on. When I wrote a paper on an obscure work of Hegel's, he treated it every bit as seriously as the papers people wrote on loftier tomes. What I most remember most is that he was chair of the department when I found two students cheating on a test. One of the students copped to it (he had allowed his test to be accessed) and took a reduced grade; the other (the cheater) refused and had his father call Dr. Flay to complain about the graduate student instructor, me. I was nervous about what would happen - surely I'd be in trouble! - but Joe told me not to worry, that he'd told the father he should be ashamed and that the grade wouldn't be changed. Class act. Thank you for sharing your father with us and for posting the wonderful picture.
D
Dotty Kunze in those days posted a condolence
Friday, March 22, 2019
Have never forgotten Joe who frolicked with us in the small graduate student circle with Al Lingis, mid-60's. I still remember his kind last words when I moved away. I have no regrets for my years there... just part of moving up the ladder of life in good and supportive company. It has turned out well. Thank you to Joe for his part and for good memories of challenging years.
D
Dotty Kunze posted a condolence
Monday, November 2, 2015
Now at age 76, I'd forgotten Joe's last name, then stumbled across it today attached to an old tape (pre-cassette) with some Piaf music. Al Lingis' name was on it too. How has this item stayed with me all these years when I've moved so often? You must be getting a lot of communication from people like us, who knew Joe back in the '60's when the existentialist group was small and profs and grad students had to stick together whether studying or partying. I never forgot him and still remember our last exchange when my life was radically changing (fortunately, for the better). He was a good friend and that's a wonderful picture that you posted. I will keep and treasure it.
b
bobbie segal lit a candle
Thursday, August 27, 2015
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joe, you were so kind to me when i returned to psu in 1970..
you were a lodestar to me..a decent human.
i will remember you always, & always, you will be a strong remembrance in my heart.
thank you for your guidance.
sincerely, bobbie segal
A
Anna Martin, posted a condolence
Tuesday, December 16, 2014
I worked with Joe in the months before he passed and I feel intensely privileged to have met him. My quiet hours spent with him were very special to me and I find I still think of him every day; his amazing stories, his philosophy on life, his humor, kindness, generosity, and advice. I wrote the following excerpt one day while sitting with him (I found my time with him to be very inspirational): "I'm often asked why I still write in pencil, as if it's some lost art, a media useless in the technological age. Sitting here examining my scribbles, I found more reasons to appreciate lead, or modernly, graphite. When one writes in ink, the words will dry and solidify their existence on the paper. However with pencil or charcoal the words and images will always be subject to change. I love the idea that with a small sweep of your hand my original intentions and meanings can be altered. It's as if you have as much power over my writing as I do. It seems like an intimate way to physically share and mold ideas. More than that, when you can physically engage in something I created from a distance, even when you're far from me, it's like we're together again, however limited the contact. Perhaps when your fingertips blur the lines of my script I will feel them brushing my hand. The light thread that ties us will be pulled taut, my fingers suspending in space briefly against my will, reaching toward you. I will feel the ghost gesture and wonder, then shake off the sensation and look forward once more. But the mysterious touch will linger, make no doubt; I will be comforted."
Joe, I'm still comforted by your words, and I hope that the imprint you've left on my life is never erased. "Síochán leat"
m
mark koenigsberg, posted a condolence
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
I just came across this sad, very sad news. Joe or Dr. Flay was my teacher in the late 60's, a time of campus upheaval, yes even at Penn State. I took a number of classes with him and I remember him as a warm and generous man, encouraging honest dialogue and debate, someone who embodied courage and integrity. I remember him as well speaking to campus protest groups, both supporting the students but also urging personal responsibility for our actions. He stood out like a beacon of honesty.
I was fortunate enough to have enjoyed a number of dinners at Joe and Bonnie's home. I have such warm and fond memories of all that he taught me and all that I learned from him.
My sincerest sympathies to his children and grandkids, he was a wonderful human being.
A
Anonymous posted a condolence
Monday, October 13, 2014
I just heard about this, a bit belatedly. Joe was my teacher in the 1980s and on my thesis committee. More important, he taught me the meaning of decency combined with rigor. I still recall our intellectual battles, culminating in my thesis defense on Michel Foucault, where he commented, "You know the difference between you and Foucault? Foucault was smart enough not to be so damn consistent." I don't think I've yet plumbed the full depth of that remark. Thanks, Joe.
Todd May
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Kevin Clark, posted a condolence
Friday, August 1, 2014
Joe was my teacher and friend for four decades, from my discovery of his work on Hegel while researching doctoral programs to our periodic phone calls over the past several years. Lately our conversations were centered on movies he'd watched and how much he missed Bonnie. One of the most demanding experiences of my life was a study of Foucault that we pursued together one State College winter. Joe elicited an almost physical intensity in working through those texts. Joe's integrity as a scholar and warmth as a friend combined in his teaching, which was always of the highest level. He will be greatly missed. My condolences and best wishes to Sally, Chris and Greg.
V
Vicki and Ed Wike, posted a condolence
Thursday, July 31, 2014
We send our sincere condolences to the Flay family. Joe was our teacher at Penn State in the late 1970s and we remember fondly his enthusiasm and dedication.
S
Shannon Winnubst, posted a condolence
Thursday, July 17, 2014
My condolences to the family. Joe Flay, with his sharp insight and generous spirit, was the best dissertation director I could have asked for.
A
Anonymous posted a condolence
Sunday, July 13, 2014
Joe Flay was my friend and teacher. Therefore a large portion of my life has been reflecting on his view of the weaknesses in Hegelian metaphysics. Joe was enamored of French ontologies. For him, Buddhism was "a sublimation."
Joe could have been a stand-in for Gary Cooper. He was tall, thin, humble, articulate and friendly. He wore his Phi Beta Kappa key like some wear the cross. His opinion was sought after and sometimes found on the front page of the NY Times.
Joe responded each and every day to a world that remains less than ideal. He said, "You are for the World depending on your choices and actions; and the World is for you depending on the choices and actions of others."
My life has been infused with the nature of his dedication. He tried to make matters as clear as he could in Greek, Latin, German, French, and English.
I feel Joe singlehandedly rewrote the lines of Shakespeare when the later wrote "The evil that men do lives after them; the good is oft interred with their bones." Joe put the Good first and it is his Good that lives and remains powerful.
Dharma Beach intemplenow@yahoo.com
Baltimore, Maryland
443-717-2400
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Sylvia Pauloo-Taylor, posted a condolence
Friday, July 11, 2014
Sending love and support to you all. I will light a candle on August 2nd and remember both Bonnie and Joe, two of my dearest friends since the 60s. It has been a privilege to be part of the "family" they so warmly gathered together.
D
David Karnos, posted a condolence
Friday, July 11, 2014
Dear Sally, Chris and Greg. I just learned of Joe's death. O Kairos!
I will always cherish memories of gatherings at your home under the great avocado tree and discussions of Hegel and Kazantzakis in those early 70's.
D
Donna & Donald Schoenly, posted a condolence
Tuesday, July 8, 2014
Our condolences to the Flay family. We will miss him in the neighborhood.
R
Ruth and Charlie Crawford, posted a condolence
Friday, July 4, 2014
Our sympathy to the Flay family. We have many fond memories of Bonnie and Joe as neighbors in English Meadows. Joe was so giving, both in attentiveness to Bonnie and actively serving on our Board of Directors. We cherish the memories.
A
Amy Sanders, posted a condolence
Friday, July 4, 2014
Dear Chrissie, Sally, Greg, and all your families,
I was so sad to hear about your loss. Your dad was an important part of my teen years, especially, and I'll miss him always. I have a thousand memories of his smiling generosity, so I'm sure your thoughts of him are some comfort, too. My deepest sympathy,
Amy
D
Debbie McMurtrie, posted a condolence
Thursday, July 3, 2014
So sorry for your loss. Prof. Flay was a wonderful instructor. Still have my notes from Phil 4 back in the 70's. Loved it!
J
Jaime & Emily Jamison, posted a condolence
Thursday, July 3, 2014
Please accept our heartfelt condolences. Joe was a kind and warm person - a true gentleman.
A
Alphonso Lingis, posted a condolence
Thursday, July 3, 2014
Joe's searching philosophical intelligence and personal integrity and care for others were a constant inspiration.
D
David Kolb, posted a condolence
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
As a fellow Hegel scholar, Joe was insightful, kind, willing to help others with his time and advice. He was a calm and humane scholar who refused narrow specialization but could hold his own in specialized debates. We Hegel scholars were fortunate to have had him as our companion on our journeys.
J
Jean Kazez, posted a condolence
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
I still remember a class of Professor Flay's that influenced me to become a philosophy major, way back in 1976! And then there was his two semester Hegel class--phew! Condolences to the family, and especially to Sarah, since we were buddies as kids.
J
John Protevi, posted a condolence
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
My condolences to the family. Dr Flay was my teacher at Penn State in the 1980s. A great teacher, his warmth and intelligence remain a fond memory of mine.
W
William Crocken, posted a condolence
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
Joe will be missed by his many friends; he was a kind and wonderful person.
A
Anonymous posted a condolence
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
my condolences to the family. As VP for Student Affairs in the 60's I encountered Joe often as he supported student groups. Although we may have differed dramatically I came to know him as a man of highest integrity and, although on opposite sides of the fence from time to time, I admired him for his openness and honesty. Penn State has lost a great figure. Raymond Murphy, Vice President Emeritus
A
Anonymous posted a condolence
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
Sarah & Family--
My condolences to you at this difficult time. May Joseph's memory be a blessing.
--Alan Benjamin
M
Mary-Jo Langston, posted a condolence
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
I thoroughly enjoyed the brief time I spent with Joe, talking about Paris and pianos. I can only imagine the reunion with Bonnie!
C
Cindy Dunkel, posted a condolence
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
Sarah, Chris and family, My heart goes out to you at this difficult time. With Sincere Sympathy,
R
Robin Robinson, posted a condolence
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
Sarah and family,
I was so sorry to hear of your loss. I remember your Dad fondly...he was a wonderful person. May your memories help you through this difficult time.
K
Kate Barron-Avillion, posted a condolence
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
Both Joe and Bonnie were two of the most remarkable people I have had the pleasure and honor to have known the past 19 years. My most heartfelt sympathies to the entire Flay family.
A
Anonymous posted a condolence
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
Thank you Sir for your service to our great country! R. I. P.
A
Anonymous posted a condolence
Monday, June 30, 2014
I am so sad for your loss. I know how so many loved your father, Sarah.
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